Go here

I saw this website and went to it...
http://www.seemetease.com

How dare you?

I would like for someone to tell me that I have no life because if they did at this moment I think I would rip them in half (not really). Ever good thing I try to do good for gets blowed in my face. Of course, the many people that come and visit this site wants to read about a girl's pathetic boring life. NO, and YES i do have a little bit of drama that happens to me, but trust me it doesn't happen everyday.

When people do good deeds, it suppose to be good, not thrown in your face.WHEN someone does this, do one thing, fight back with good against the evil. I don't believe in cutting other people's throats. It was the way I was raised. Plus, I do think I was properly a knight back in my many life forms (other than this life). Yes, there are life forms people. Don't be so closed minded.

That is another that makes me mad. Everyone has got to put someone else's religion down. STOP it! Your not hurting them, your hurting yourself. WHEN someone makes you mad and you hold that grudge, it's not hurting them, it's hurting you.

Those are just a few life lessons.

A day to remember

I'm sorry everyone. I know I am random, but I found this on my facebook blog, I almost forgot about it. It was a great day that day.

Band Blog

by Beth Stafford on Sunday, February 27, 2011 at 2:07pm

Yesterday was like totally rad lol. Anyways ... I was at a band practice with Brandon and Nathan and three other band members...which were Shay, Kyle, and Bradley. The harmony was so paralyzing. which was an awesome thing.

(If I got your name wrong please correct it because I want every one to get their full credit. And no cussing me out lol)

ANyways the band is called Loss of the Adept.  http://www.vampirefreaks.com/loss_of_the_adept

You need to listen to them. 

Well at practice...With Brandon's(Scarecrow, lead singer) voice conquering, with riffs from Shay(bassist) and newly learning (Grim Haven) with guitar(new guy), with unique keyboard note , Bradley(keyboardist), and killing drum beats from Kyle (the drummer). The chemistry was their. The band's history is actually very awesome...I didn't get to hear all of it because I too busy laughing at the two band members goofing off.(I apologize Bradley)...But ...

Like I said the music was like it was something you wanted to do, but was afraid to do it. The aura of these guys were amazing...Although this type of music is not respected, I do respect each member of this family/band. 

I will post more...Later on

Like I said take time to listen to this group.

Today is...Friday!

yeah, today is Friday. People are usually out and about. I came to conclusion that I am not like everyone else. Their are times I do feel like I don't belong to any crowd or feel worthy to be around one. My life is consisted with misery of doubt. Somewhere my flame was turned off for 3 years, until I met Nathan.

Nathan has taught me to love myself. Loving myself will help others see that they are loved as well. I noticed things are different with different prospects and situations. Sometimes back long ago it felt like I was looking at myself through another person. A person that I grew to hate.

I hated myself because I lost my backbone, nerve, standing up for what was right for one person that would hurt me if I spoke up. I remember taking up for a little boy, I remember getting slapped for that. So not up til now, I have stood up for someone. Well, i do now. Only thing I fear is fear itself.

Their are a couple things I do fear; Nathan being hurt. Being lonely.
Nobody wants to be lonely. Not even for the latest hours. Some will no admit it. When you have to fight your fear that is different. I remember fighting my fear years ago.
It all started back in 2007, it was spring. I thought it was too pretty to be true kind of day. (sigh) Your are going to have to wait til the next blog. I want you to keep coming back. Have a great day!

I don't care...

Okay my week has been sorta torn up into two parts...BS and MORE BS. Every time I do a review on something they say it's never good enough. So, anyways...the abusers mom contacts me and says this. I am not posting names to save the embarrassing part of being called out.

XXXXX the abusers mother: Hope all is better for u now. Have u heard the news yet? Well later I guess. Wishing u the best. 


Me:No i haven't heard any news


XXXX: Oh well then , I take that as u r not going to hear about the news. Anyways ..... have a great day.


Me:Really what is the great news? I been working all day. I didn't get a chance to read it earlier.


XXXX: Like I said......... I guess u r not meant to hear the AWESOME news. Sorry u didn't get a chance to be a part of it. Maybe next time ....... if there is a next time. Just know I really thought u had a right to know but the choice was not mine to make. Have a great day my friend.


Me:Okay you contacted me. Only news I heard was xxxx  having a baby. Unless your son by chance got married, which would be a miracle. Or maybe you got legal rights to Lawrence. Other than that, I don't have a clue. Depending on what it is, I don't care to be a part of it.This is the most ridiculous conversation of my life. Good day to you! God bless!


As you can see they still contact me and still make my life a living hell. I really don't give a two cents about what the great news was. For all i care someone could got sent off. I really don't care.

Writing articles.

http://socyberty.com/sexuality/keeping-that-love-alive/  I been writing up some articles on some things such as saving relationships, saving yourself, and so forth. That is one link to look at, if you enjoy stuff about it.

http://beyondjane.com/family/marriage/i-want-to-love-you/ Is another posting I did. This is spotting the good ones from the bad ones.  I will get on later and blog some more for all. Time for lunch. YUM!

Different Subject

i SWEAR, I SWEAR. I guess it was one of them days, I reckon. I know I said I was going to post something that happened two or three years. I'll be post that tomorrow.  Today was interesting as it may, I been working for card crafts with poetry in them. I custom make cards by hand. It takes about an hour to make one good card.  The card in up above is the one I made Nathan one year of being together. That is one my sample works. :)

Broken (in the past)

Good evening everyone. I am sitting here at my computer on another Saturday, while my other peers are out getting wasted or going out. Yeah, I have a boring life, but not boring choices. Everyday you make choices that reflect tomorrow. Remember that, it will come in handy one day, especially when are my age.


Today, I decide on two things: Feel sorry for myself. Second: Do something about my luck.
If you know me, I probably picked the second one right...Yes and no. I put both together to create something what I call option 3. 


Option 3 my friends is when you two both of your choices and put them together. Yes, It does work. I do it all the time. I came this far life with it.


I will give you an story that happened to me long ago...
On this date, two or so years ago, I was in a horrible relationship with someone that, to save their name and the embarrassing, I won't say there name, okay. ANYWAYS...I was with this person. I was so desperate...When I mean desperate, I mean studying the locations on everywhere I went. Trying to find a way out.I remember crying myself to sleep every night. I remember feeling ashamed of myself and the actions I chose in my life. 
In this point in my life, I felt that no one loved me, I felt used, also it felt like God didn't act like I existed. All my friends, I lost contact with them because of this loser. Because of this loser, a lot of my family lost respect for me. Hell, i lost respect for myself. I didn't need it from them too.
Music seemed to be only comfort, only up until when the song ended, my sorrow was back where it was. I wanted someone to love me, not use me, or abuse me. The mental abuse itself hurt. He made feel like I didn't belong anywhere and til this day sometimes I feel worthless. Every time I talk about this, it brings me in pain. No people this is a true story...Believe or not...I have witnesses that witness the nonsense I went through. When I first started to date this dude, he seemed like he was nice, up until he found out something about me. Something that was but wasn't true. It was my past, before I got with him, and he still acted foolish. That should of told me their that was something wrong with this mental case.

I will get in detail with all that later on in this blog. I hope this helps out someone that has been through this, Let me tell you you are loved. YOU are worth something. YOU are beautiful,regardless what or who thinks different. Every time I would smile, it was fake.  Then what made matters worse, I became pregnant by the man I hated, but pretended to love. My heart swelled in shame. My heart told me, "God never makes mistakes." I also remember people telling me that God doesn't put more on you than you can bear.
All the hardship, all the grief, all the self scarification I put myself through, I have to say was worth it. But I am going to start out the story from the beginning. As I promised I wouldn't put more on YOU than you can bear. I'm going to start the story out from the beginning of my life with his man that I hated, yet hurt me, but yet I am stronger because of this. If you are going through this, please don't harm yourself. You are loved. You are special. 

August 26 or 27th 2011

Dates don't matter when you have nothing to go out to do. TO be quite honest it sort of depresses me because I can't really remember the dates. Which sucks because when you fill out an application you have to know the date. Well, sorry but I usually don't.
I have to admit, I have it made, have it easy. I have people that love me, but do have few that hate me.

I guess that is all for now. Sorry for the boring moments. Have writer's block.

Starting out...

Okay...I'm sort of new at this blog stuff.

Here are are some things about me:
I'm 25, in college, I be my life(so far), My soon to be husband is well wonderful, and my middle finger is hurting. No, not what you think. It's from keyboarding class. I know you don't care to know about a normal's girl boring life, but what if I say what about her thoughts.

I'm at at 3 something in the morning and  my life isn't were I want it yet. I want to be married and have a family. That is all the girl's dream back when I was smaller.

I remember hearing all the girls in middle school and up talking about marriage, kids, and homes. Me did I think that?
NO! I didn't want to married, I didn't want kids, and yes I wanted my house, but that is about it. Because I didn't want to be this woman tied down in one state called South Carolina.
I always dreamt of going to LA or Chicago....Did it happen? No! Do I care? NO!

Now, I'm like okay...I want to get married.

Most of my friends are well off with their families and I'm sorta jealous of that. I really don't know why I would be. I am like you, (if your a girl reading this) I was that girl that stood behind all the people in the crowd. I was that girl that was a little bit overweight. Yes, I was that girl that had a stuttering problem. AND YES I was the girl that played video games all summer long, even in the school year. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you think your not good enough, get it out of your head right this instant.

I'm currently playing Chrono Cross. It's an old school. Anyways, I give you a little personal input on me. I am going to get off for now. I promise these blogs won't be horribly long or gratifyingly short. Have a safe day!